Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I found myself at the university, and there I knew noone. Things weren't as it should be. I was lying on the outside stairs that leads to the sciences building. Everything was kind of fresh and luminous, there were groups of young people goind around, and I was with that girl. We were kind of embraced in a bizarre way, and we would just moove our bodies and melting everything in a somehow impossible way. I remember her skin being very white. She was not very thin, and I felt this cold but lively flesh all over me. She was talking about things she wanted to do right now, but without giving the impression of really wanting it. It was like she was talking to the skies, with tears in her eyes, loosing her sight in the infinite. That was strange the way she seemed to talk about common desires, like the desire of eating chicken, but without seeming terrestrian at all. So I wasn't really bothered by her desire to eat chicken, because it seemed futil and disconnected from the dream. Another great thing about her was that I didn't know how she was. I tought it was a particular girl that I knew, and I called her with that name, but the person was different, for the appearance and behaviour. That's reccurent in those dreams. I feel at ease with people that I don't know. They seem to have no connection to my life, they're just gifts from the skies, with no life background, no knowledge... of me particularly. This sounds like an edenistic vision. "With knowledge came shame" In those dreams no shame. People doesn't know me and they are almost inexistant. In theses cases, I feel awfully good. Felicity is happening. I wake up and I don't believe in friends and relatives. I can get no felicity with them, because they are too real and they come with a knowledge, an austere fabulation of yourself and life. Also, sometimes you find yourself in familiar places, but you find out that those places are different, and you discover, you discover... with fascination. For people it's different than for places. It has a similarity, if you are with people that you think are some relatives, but just because you know it, 'cause in fact they are totally different looking and behaving, as I just said about the girl of my last dream. So you kind of discover that they are different from what you tought, a litle like it happens for places. What's different is that you don't really discover them, because they are no spaces. You cannot moove through them and find things. You are not enough conscious to do a psychological ralley in a dream. So they are mostly strange figurants with no connection to your life. You almost don't see them, you just feel very good.
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