College art contest, turning bad

We had prepared some theatre show for a contest, a college art contest, presented in front of an audience, in the city's theater. There was a lot of confusion, as usual, in the whole show. The audience was unsettled, people were disappearing, maybe leaving, and we were so much confused that we couldn't noticed everything that was happening. We would find ouselves mixed up with the audience, there was no followable line, all the differents acts were mixed up, everybody would do their thing at the same time, we would find ourselves behind the audience, the scenes were multiplying, sometimes the lights would completly turn off, and this big confusion made everybody forget what they were doing and what was their role, the audience included. I don't know if we managed to bring our show to an end, I really don't know. Becca was either completly confused, either on drugs, either put down by something, but I ended up carrying her around in my arms. She was showing no signs of life. I just carried her around, as people were disappearing or hurrying themselves for god only knows what (still worried about a task that had lost its mean into this mess). She had her arms around my neck and I didn't know what to do with her, in fact I didn't even know if it was part of the show... Who knows, in such confusion?! I had to change and dress normaly again. I don't know what I did with her.

mozaïk

With the Olympics, I often find myself in auditoriums, with lots of people from all the Ages of my life, and it has a carnavalesque feel. I am frustrated not being able to remember anything really precise. My wonderful feeling maybe did carry from one dream to another. I remember one precise scene. I was kind of in a bar, and there were people with costumes and theatrical ways. It was a little like in Smashing Pumpkin's Adore video. You remembered the way the images were sometimes accelerating and slowing jerkily. It was a little like that, as when I was crossing some people, it would slow down, and they would make a theatrical pose, and then it would accelerate, as I was continuing my way. I remember entering in a room with big paintings all over the walls. I was mesmerized by the paintings, euphoric should I say. Coming in the room I jumped on somebody's back and he carried me further in the room. I was extatic. There was something more, I just can't remember, even if it was one of the best feelings of my life... how frustrating!!

I am still pretty turmoiled with something else. First, a city scene where I was kind of investigating. Again, it was an adventure, some kind of investigation or death fleeing. With that girl again. I think we were teaming up. Wo, that's coming from all the angles. I remember a beach scene...ahhh, war with the africans, getting out of a building where a tribe was, and meeting another tribe on the outside....worried about their hostility, but finally one of them asks me how it is inside, and I tell them that memorable stupid sentence:"They have no axes"... No harm for me, I fly away, in the proper sense. Bus scenes, bus scenes.... damn buses, carrying me nowhere, loosing me, falses schedules, busdamnbusdamnbus...

Des parcours qui se perdent dans des régions inconnues. La peur de ne jamais pouvoir revenir. Ou la randonnée à St-Augustin DesMorts. Je m'en souviendrai toujours, St-Augustin l'hiver, région désertique et merveilleuse avec des paysages à couper le souffle. Je me tenais à l'avant, avec une fillette à mes côtés. Elle était avec moi. Nous étions accotés sur une rampe, comme dans un téléphérique, pour regarder à l'extérieur. L'autobus volait. Sous nous, un tigre des neiges qui se met sur ses deux pattes arrières. Il est immense, complètement disproportionné avec le paysage, car nous sommes très haut, mais il est tout de même immense. St-Augustin?? j'y reviendrais. Il n'y avait pas de maisons, pas de routes, pas de gens. Seulement un hiver montagneux avec des animaux fantastiques par leur disproportion et leur tenue. Je suis avec la fillette et je pointe vers l'extérieur et lui montre ces merveilles, avec l'air émerveillé qu'a quelqu'un qui se trouve derrière une vitre de véhicule et qui pointe vers quelque chose à l'extérieur. C'est presqu'au ralenti. Cette scène me rappelle quelque chose, mais je n'arrive pas à trouver. Damn, mémoire... Peut-être un dessin animé.

Morning scene

I don't know how we ended up there. I wasn't wondering neither. She had been on drugs or something, she looked dirty and tired, but energically tired, if that may be... She was like still frozen, not sure of where she were, hurried to get her things together, even if she maybe had nowhere to go. That was a really weird morning. I felt like something extremely intense had gone in the last night, and I felt like if that intensity was carrying in the morning, like if it belonged to the same drama. I felt very good with her, all the way, even if I remembered nothing of the past night. She was some drug-addicted character, covering up her disturbed mind by some hurried ways. I liked the fact that she was kind of lost, hurrying up, paying no attention to no one. I was hurrying up around her, carried by that morning scene vague drama, in the wake of a strange and intense forgotten night.

The Informator: about lucid dreaming

Gone over my whole blog. Made me realize that it took kind of a depressive turn. The best part is when I tell my dreams. I should do that more often. I am working on something these days. I am working on lucid dreaming. For those who don't know anything about it, lucid dreaming are dreams in which you are conscious of being in a dream. Each one of you have had such dreams. Did you know that there was a method that could help you to get more lucid dreams? Of course, the precision of the method 's suggestions is stupid. The important thing is to get the idea behind it. The most important moment is before you fall asleep. You must "fall asleep consciously", meaning that you must be conscious of your mind slowly getting detached of the outside things, and when you feel that you are starting to fall asleep, you must hang to your awaken estate. It's like if you were about to die, trying to hold to this life. That I found it myself. The methods are proposing lots of exercices to do during the day. It appears that it works. Well, here's what it says. First, you should picture that you are in a dream, at least two or three times a day. You should convince yourself that you really are living a dream. I still haven't try this tip. Then, you should think about unreal things that happened in one of your dream, and try to rationnalize it. I don't believe that this tip works. Even if you learn to rationalize unreal things, it would just make your dreams seem more natural even when unreal things happen. But even that last tought was useless, here's why. I don't think that the "unreal things" factor is the one that determines your degree of addiction to the reality of your dream. For example, I had a very strange dream with water flowing from everywhere in my room. It was a dream where I was almost lucid that it was a dream, but where I wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. The water thing made no sens at all, but I was believing that it was possible, and that's why I tought it was real, and I didn't fell in the lucid dream. I also remembered dreams were everything was likely, but where I was conscious that it was a dream. I just "knew it", it had nothing to do with the dream's content. Same thing for a nightmare, tought it may vary. What launches a nightmare, it's the feeling that it's a nightmare, and it has little to do with the content. For example, I had a nightmare last night. The content? I was picturing myself, lying on my bed. Why was it a nightmare? I felt it in all my body, I was f** scared. So, to get back to lucid dreams, forget about the last tip, it's charlatanesque. I really think that the most important thing is to get in some kind of trance by trying to fall asleep consciously. Still, the methods are talking about some kind of trick when you awake in the middle of the night. It says that you should stay awake and activate your brain (by reading for example) for an hour. That's a way of awaken all your brain functions, before to get back to the fresh sleep you just left. Still, I find that the idea behind that is to mess the different mind states: you just wake up, maybe just off of a dream, and then activates your brain intensely for an hour, an then immediatly back to sleep and dream. Anyway, I am still pretty novice about it. I will try to come back later with more information.