There are lots of places where you can write things that are not to be red by anyone. I just found out that a blog may be a good place to write things that would be red by people who would read it and hopefully reply to it. People struggling with their shit life seems to be the more interesting stuff for normal people. As my life as "me myself" -which means my mind life- doesn't have any interest in that context, I find no use being that "me myself" that I must be, I find no use being that small "me" that I must be in the ocean of life inside me, so I'll just be a pissed off American in need for affection. Why not be an American for this time? I can be anything, it is worth anything.

Emptyness allows us to move, to breathe, to "talk-shit-do", as I love to say. Otherwise we could not do those essential things. We would already be drone before to exist. This is where I start, to show you that I am serious: talking is nothing, as writting is nothing. Words and ideas just flow, there's always a mood behind it, and another more obscure mood behind it, and so on. The deepest mood is the one we cannot find out that it is possessing us as if we were puppets. That's why after having deep shit in our lifes, we wake up, but only a long time after and to fall in another dream. Radicaly, the deepest mood, the inaccessible one, is the mood that will stay constant all our life: we just cannot think it, we'll die before we find out. That's why we sometimes cry for no particular reason. It's like if we were living a tragic life and we could just feel that it's tragic without knowing why.

Messing with many girls at the same time, being exhausted by our relationships and starting to act bizarre, and when everything is over and we have a rest we awake up and find out how it really was, how we were at that time. We would cry for insignificant purposes during those tumultuous moments. We would float, sink, rage, become unrecognizable for our relatives.

No shame: no me no shame. Be ready to believe anything or go throw yourself into the river.