Telling of some asleep dreams.

Agression in a bright medieval garden

The chosen one ... on me as I show them that I can fly. But it's not the same thing when I am doing it for showing them. I kind of lost them in a messy crowd that is not human, but that is mostly disturbing. I sense that they are busy at something else. I can see that from above, it's like a Bosch crowd, like an insect cloud. I can't remember how was my flight, because what happened next was so powerfully traumatizing, that it is what I kept in mind when I awoke and tried to hang to one picture of my dream. It's a sumum of an humiliation scene that reveals me what I am haunted with. I've been mocked, humiliated, but it was so vulgary done, I am so sorry that there was no continuation (or did I forget it??) of my dream, because I would have like to see the reaction of other people. I can just remember the evil face of my agressor (which I know in my real life, and which is indirectly related to my "love" relations. He has a whole particular status in my mind, like everyone I think). I had no conscious bad toughts about him, and at the opposite, I kind of admire him. Which means I must have been envious. What is sure, it's that he was far from letting me indiferent and I considered him like one of the most impetuous person I knew. And God knows he was in that dream. Another thing I can remember of that humiliating moment, its something more vague, and its something that takes no clear position versus me. So I don't really know if the person I remember was sympathic to me or was kind of against me. It happens frequently in my dreams that my best relations turn against me. It's simple, I think they know me, so they know what I am bad for and what I am doing wrong, what I am laughable for. So that's why they always turn against me in my dreams. Do you imagine the adversity??! I only find friends in some cold emotionless mysterious figures that I don't know. Usually they don't say a word and they don't express a feeling, otherwise I would take it bad. So it leads me to think that the person, the main attender of the scene was kind of with the agressor, but I really am not sure. And the more I think of it, the more I think he was neither with him neither with me. He sure understood a lot of things, but all in his way, like he was not implicated, which is good for me. It's funny, I see only his head in a messy carnavalesque crowd. Like a head floating, what makes him like a spirit floating. Generally, this dream (and I am finding out about that right now, as the images take form) seems to have a lot of Middle-Age and Renaissance imagery... how weird is that? Lots of pictures are like Bosh paintings, mostly the edenistic ones, and for that also there are some pictures that are reminders of how I picture Le Roman de la Rose, a medieval analogy novel. In the agression scene, I felt like a character of a violent medieval story trying to flee and cover himself from the agression, in a eden garden or forest. It's weird how luminous nature was in that dream, how bright and medievaly edenic it was... Maybe it has to see with the subject of my dream, which is intensely related to the obsessional themes of medievists. Well, that theme is haunting in each Age, but in my mind, it has a really particular flavour in the medieval context. I feel like I am resurecting that humanity... They managed to create an imagery that is so marvelous and that sublimates the subject of obsession. So it kinds of put in scene everything but the subject of obsession; that is the best.

(tonight or tomorrow: a cop story! well, not really... but you'll see, it's another dream made in the same night)